Recovery

I did not expect to be in this position again. Not so soon. Within a year, I’m lost and misaligned, again. Though, the misalignment part is something that makes sense. I have regrets. About choosing a certain stream. It’s no excuse, but it is a reason. I can’t bring myself to study, haven’t all week. It’s horrible. I’ve been lying to everyone. And especially to myself, thinking I’ll be fine like this. I just want to bunk lectures honestly. Can I though? Probably not. I feel helpless. But frustrated and angry too. It’s a confusing feeling. I don’t want to go on like this. I want to enjoy my work. IPMAT is one way. Then IIM, and the 5 year program. It’s way more aligned with how I want to contribute to the world. Atleast I’d have a ‘why’ to my work, and it would be something that brings me fulfilment. But right now. I don’t want to do shit. What do I want? And what can I do to get there? I feel like those are the questions I need to answer the most. When I’m ready, I need to make a new plan. Because I know the current one isn’t good enough for me.